


Insomnia

by Mosspool13



Series: WidoFjord Week 2019 [1]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Caleb Wears A Robe, Fjord Is Fascinated With Said Robe, Frumpkin As A Therapy Animal, M/M, They Make Out In That Robe, Widofjord Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-04-08 13:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19107688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mosspool13/pseuds/Mosspool13
Summary: Fjord can't sleep, Caleb wears a robe, and Frumpkin's purring can soothe the soul





	Insomnia

**Author's Note:**

> For WidoFjord (Fjordgast) Week: Day One: Pining, Fluff

The Xhorhouse is dark; there's something about the shadows and the lack of sunlight that makes the house eerie and unfamiliar, despite living there for going on two weeks now. Fjord carefully walks its halls during those tender hours of sleep when the Nein are all encompassed in their rooms, tucked into bed and drowsy. The lack of activity is what makes it darker, Fjord thinks, because during the "day" (or what Fjord presumes is day, based on Caleb's crazy accurate all-knowing inner-clock) with Jester flitting from room to room, brushes in hand and arms covered in paint, Caduceus humming and cooking or gardening, Beau and Yasha and the scent of sweat in the training room, Nott and Yeza buzzing about in their lab, and the Shadowhand teaching Caleb Dunamancy, well, it's a madhouse.

The Nein have taken to the Xhorhouse surprisingly quickly, making a home (or trying to) out of it and Fjord can't tell what he feels about it all. For now, he spends his nights pressing his hand to the walls, feeling out the divots and bumps, pressing his fingers to Jester's painted murals, or listening to the soft breaths of his friends through their doors as they sleep on.

He hasn't slept once since that night in the inn.

Caduceus has been the only one to notice Fjord's more lethargic movements during the "day," silently handing him a cup of tea once and a pat to the arm. Fjord had hummed his thanks and tucked in from there, reveling in the warmth that had slid down his throat.

Now, he is wandering around the first floor of the Xhorhouse, skirting the couch and taking in Jester's most recent mural, a tangle of art that scrawls across the length of one wall, depicting a familiar scene from the Nein's past. It's from their time in Hupperdook, if Fjord can recall, and though only half-finished, Fjord can already see the lines and sketches that make up the drinking challenge. He can see in the dark just the outlines, not the colors, of Nott with her mug raised, in the throes of winning, Beau slumped and drunk, half of Yasha standing in the back with the beginnings of another figure, their coat just beginning to form. Fjord presses to fingers to the beginnings of the mural, right on the edge of that coat, and somberly thinks of a purple tiefling's encroaching smile.

What would Molly say of Fjord now, wandering helplessly, afraid of dreaming? 

Afraid of losing something that he cannot afford to lose. Not again. 

"Fjord? What are you doing?" Fjord startles, turning on his heel and catching sight of a figure standing across the room, four globules of light dancing about his head, lighting up his face and the crown of his hair. Caleb looks soft, surprisingly so, in a robe and sleep pants. There's a vulnerability about him--the way he clutches the robe closed at his chest, that makes Fjord uncomfortable. Fjord is not used to seeing it--usually the Nein sleep in their armor when they travel (though uncomfortable, in case of an emergency, they would need to be ready) or their everyday wear. Fjord has yet to see any of the others wearing pajamas (including Mollymauk Tealeaf himself, who preferred to sleep in the nude, and Fjord can roll his eyes and see the humor in it now, when, at the time, he'd been horrified) save Caduceus, who's nightly routine includes soft clothes, tea and meditation.

"Ah," Fjord says, shifting on his feet so he can face Caleb squarely, eye-to-eye, "havin' trouble sleepin' is all. Thought I'd wander about."

Caleb's eyes sharpen and he steps closer so Fjord can now see the pull of his brow in a frown. "Bad dreams?"

Fjord scratches the back of his neck. "I feel like I can categorize them all that way."

Caleb gets closer, and inclines his head at Fjord. He takes Fjord in, and Fjord instinctively straightens under his gaze. "You do look tired, my friend." He comments, and then he snaps his fingers. Frumpkin, a lump of orange tabby fur, pops into existence around Fjord's shoulders. Fjord flinches, and then proceeds to sneeze.

When he looks back up, rubbing his nose and grimacing, Caleb's mouth is quirked at the corner and Frumpkin is purring up a storm in his ear. "Thanks, I think?" Fjord says, reaching up a tentative hand and pressing his fingers into Frumpkin's scruff. Frumpkin purrs louder, and despite himself, Fjord smiles.

"You can hold Frumpkin during the night." Caleb says, turning around and heading back towards his room. "He can keep you company." Then Caleb disappears within his door, the _snick_ of it closing resounding surprisingly loudly in the dark room.

Fjord sighs and gently takes Frumpkin from around his neck and holds him awkwardly in the cradle of his arms. Frumpkin purrs again, kneading his paws into Fjord's forearms, claws just lightly pricking him but not breaking the skin. Fjord settles into the couch cushions, petting Frumpkin and looking about the darker interior. Frumpkin _mrrows_ lowly and Fjord huffs. "Yeah, it's pretty empty in here, ain't it?" He absentmindedly scritches under Frumpkin's chin.

Frumpkin _mrrows_ again, and Fjord chuckles and then asks, curiously. "You ever get lonely in that place Caleb sends you?"

Frumpkin makes a confused noise, rubbing his cheek against Fjord's palm. "I guess that's a stupid question." Fjord mutters, mostly to himself. "You're a fey cat, that's like... your home or somethin' right?"

Frumpkin flicks his tail and sits down in Fjord's lap, eyeing him with his sharp bright eyes. Fjord searches Frumpkin's gaze, looking for any telltale sign of Caleb in those cat eyes, a flash of arcane blue, or anything that might give him away, but Frumpkin just looks like a cat and Fjord rolls his shoulders and thinks he's safe enough to say what he's been thinking for a while now. "This place is supposed to be our home now, I think. At least... the others seem to be workin' towards that." He pats Frumpkin's spine. "Not sure how I feel. Never had a home before. Sure as fuck wouldn't call where I came from a home." He leans against the back of the couch and Frumpkin starts to make himself comfortable across Fjord's thighs. "You makin' a home on my legs?" He asks, amused.

Frumpkin _mrrpps_ and settles, beginning to purr again, and Fjord huffs and rolls his eyes. "Cats." He mutters.  

Listening to Frumpkin's ever-present purr is surprisingly soothing--the rhythm of it a background noise that has Fjord's eyes drooping ever so slightly.

He drifts off like that into an easy slumber, the first since his last frightening dream, and the most restful he's had in a while.

When he wakes up later, Frumpkin is snuffling into Fjord's ear and Fjord sneezes into the cat's face. Frumpkin rears back, offended, and jumps off of Fjord and pads off elsewhere. Fjord sits up, rubbing his eyes and stretching out the kinks in his neck from the awkward sleeping position. He'd been too anxious to sleep all those previous nights, and he feels rested--energized--more than he can remember. The fear of his nightmares had kept him wide awake but apparently he can fall asleep to purring in his ear.

Or maybe he'd just been so exhausted from lack of sleep that he'd finally passed out.

He quickly gets up and heads to his room, changing and refreshing himself for the day--as if he hadn't just been sleeping on the downstairs couch. He greets Caduceus as he exits his room, and the firbolg takes one look at him and nods, satisfied.

"I am pleased things are better now, Mr. Fjord." Caduceus says, and affectionately pats Fjord's arm.   

 

However, that next night, Fjord tosses and turns in his bed, hoping he can drift off as easily as he had on the couch, but he is wide awake and the anxious fluttering of his heart is beating fast against his ribcage. He sits up, aggravated with himself, and desperate, and finds his way to Caleb's door where he stares at the gray outline of it before he bites his lip and knocks on it.

It takes a moment, he can just hear the shuffling of papers and the pad of feet before he hears Caleb's "just a moment!" called through the door.

When he finally opens it, he looks slightly disheveled, his now close-cropped hair messy at the top. He's wearing that robe again, open now at the collar and Fjord can see a white shirt and the skin of his collarbone peeking out. Fjord doesn't know why he flushes and averts his eyes, possibly the vulnerability of it all, catching your friend in somewhat of undress, even if it is barely a strip of skin, but when Molly had walked starkers about their shared room, Fjord had been horrified, and embarrassed, but this feels different somehow.

"Fjord," Caleb blinks, surprised. "It is late, is there something that you need?" He adjusts his robe around himself, closing it and Fjord feels relieved and strangely bereft.

"Uh," he blinks and focuses, "sorry, I didn't mean to bother ya. I was hopin' maybe that you could let me..." he pauses, "borrow Frumpkin for another night?"

Caleb's eyebrow raises, and he looks Fjord over curiously again, just as he had the previous night. "You look much better than yesterday." He comments. He turns back into his room, and Fjord can see the tables of alchemy equipment, the bookshelves behind them, beginning to fill with more of Caleb's books, and paper strewn across one of the desks. It looks like Fjord had caught Caleb in the middle of transcribing, and Fjord realizes then that he can see ink stains on the cuffs of Caleb's robe.

Caleb beckons to a furry lump of fur circled on the floor and Frumpkin lifts his head, meows, and rises, stretching out his legs languidly, taking all the time in the world. Caleb huffs and shakes his head as Frumpkin finally pads over, sitting down and looking up at the two of them, patiently " _Ja_ , you can have him." Caleb says, also looking up at Fjord and Fjord pulls his gaze from Caleb's sleeves.

"Thank you." Fjord breathes, relieved. He kneels down and holds out his arm for Frumpkin, who walks into it and lets Fjord pick him up.

Caleb tilts his head. "Bad dreams, again?" He asks, just as Fjord is beginning to turn away.

"You could say that." Fjord replies, hitching Frumpkin in the crook of his arm, against his side. "Hopin' your magic cat can banish them away."

Caleb hums. "I do not think my cat has that sort of power, but he can keep you company." He pauses. "If you have need of him again, feel free to ask." Caleb says.

"Thank you, Caleb." Fjord says again, watching the wizard carefully. "That's mighty kind of you, considerin'. I don't want to take up all of your cat's time."

Caleb shrugs. "He has helped me with my dreams for a very long time. I think that he could help you... even a small bit with your..." Caleb's mouth twists. "snake god."

Fjord doesn't think Frumpkin has the ability to watch over his dreams or banish Uk'otoa from them, but if he can give Fjord a little peace of mind at night, help him calm himself so he can get some decent sleep, well, Fjord will take it. He's been too worried to get any proper sleep, and he knows how dangerous that can be.

"Thank you," Fjord says, again, and Caleb nods and closes his door. Fjord takes Frumpkin and situates himself on the couch again, letting Frumpkin sit on his knees. He hopes that if he can recreate last night's events, maybe, he can drift off into a peaceful sleep free of Uk'otoa or the fear of losing his magic.

"Alright, Frumpkin. Get to the purring bit." He says, leaning back, one hand in Frumpkin's scruff. Frumpkin obliges him, purring and settling in and Fjord closes his eyes and counts the beats of each purr until the rhythm lulls him into slumber.

 

He's got Frumpkin again, slumped across his knees, while he's sitting on the couch, listening to his purring, and he is just beginning to slide into sleep when he feels someone hovering behind him. Fjord instinctively freezes, and then his hand is glowing and the falchion is raised to the skin of a pale throat. Frumpkin is yowling, having been unceremoniously knocked off from Fjord's lap and Caleb is leaning away from the blade of the falchion, his blue eyes wide. Fjord immediately dispels the falchion and steps away, off the couch, where he'd turned and moved after positioning himself over it on his knees, leaning across the headrest.

"Shit, sorry Caleb. Thought you were--" Fjord rubs his eyes. "Sorry." He mutters, lamely.

"It is fine." Caleb says, skirting around the couch. "I was curious about where you were spending your nights. I did not think you would be sleeping on the couch out here."

Fjord sits down and Frumpkin, fluffed up and annoyed, hops up beside him. Fjord apologizes to the cat, who mrrows lowly and settles against his side and Caleb hovers beside the couch.

Fjord looks up. "You can sit." He says, offering the seat on his other side and Caleb nods and sits down. The couch is of average size, and for two grown men and a cat, it is nearly a tight fit. If Fjord leans just a little to the left, his and Caleb's shoulders will touch.

Fjord looks at his knees. "You know, I never apologized for that time in Zadash… when I put my sword to your neck."

Caleb waves his hand in the air, unconcerned. "That was a long time ago, now, Fjord. I have forgiven you for it, and you had your reasons. It is inconsequential now."

Fjord relaxes into the cushions. "Inconsequential, huh?" He murmurs, and glances at Caleb. Caleb is wearing a thin white shirt and soft pants, his bare feet poking out of the length of them. Fjord is caught by the way he has rolled up his sleeves to expose his arms, sans bandages, as they have been for several days now, since revealing the scars littering his forearm. Caleb has curled himself into the couch next to Fjord, knees tucked up to his chin and one arm lying palm up. It's the one with the scar across his skin, the matching one that Fjord shares, and Fjord's scar tingles just thinking about it.

"You're not wearing your robe." Fjord comments, before he has time to think about his words.

Caleb looks confused. "My robe?" He pauses and then smiles thinly " _Ja_ , I do prefer it to sleep in, but I felt that if I were going to wander about the place, I'd rather be wearing something less revealing."

Fjord splutters, sitting up. "Revealing??" His voice cracks a little and he has to struggle to get the drawl back into place instead of his voice lilting higher. It reminds him of a conversation he and Caleb need to have, a follow-up, but Fjord is far from ready to deal with that right now, and Caleb seems to be taking Fjord's "let me come to you" to heart, and has not mentioned Fjord's accent or his past again since.

Though Fjord can tell he wants to--Caleb's curiosity, the magic that makes his eyes brighter and more blue, are staring at him now, discerning him and Fjord wonders what Caleb sees: a broken man, or a scared one?

"Why are you so interested in that?" Caleb asks, and he looks distinctly amused.

Fjord backtracks. "No reason, just noticed yah wearing it these last few times and was curious."

Caleb hums and lets the conversation end. Fjord isn't sure why he feels so flustered, so hot under the collar, so he ignores it by leaning forward and asking, "How's the studying with the Shadowhand, going?"

Caleb's eyes flash. "Dunamancy is... far more interesting than I could have possibly imagined. There is so much more of their magic to discover, and Essek has only given me a taste--" Caleb visibly stops himself and then glances at Fjord. "Are you interested in studying it as well?"

Fjord waves his hands. "I wouldn't even know where to start with that. This magic I have is still so new and crazy for me. I'd be in way over my head."

"You are far smarter than you give yourself credit for, Fjord." Caleb argues, leaning towards him. The arcane of his eyes flashes with his passion and Fjord swallows. "If you took the time to study, I am sure the arcane would come more easily to you."

"I'm not much of a reader."

" _Ja_ ," Caleb says, amused again. "I am aware." He gets serious then, expression pulling tight and unreadable. "If you do not mind my asking, why are you sleeping on the couch instead of upstairs in your bed?"

Fjord stiffens. "Bad dreams, remember?" He says and Caleb hums, as if he had been expecting that answer. Caleb stands then, pulling on his sleeves, unrolling them so they begin to hide the scars on his arms. "I did not wish to take up your time. I will leave you and my cat." He glances at Frumpkin, smiles soft and fond at the tabby, and returns to his room.

Fjord watches him go, jittery and on edge, and Frumpkin meows and burrows closer into Fjord's side.

 

The next day, Jester drags Fjord out to the nearest clothing shop, a bounce in her steps and grinning from ear to ear as she flits between the aisles. Fjord follows after her at a much slower pace, bored out of his mind and wondering why he allowed Jester to convince him to join her.

"I thought you and Nott already bought all the clothes you'd need." Fjord comments, watching Jester pick out another dress and drape it over her arm.

"We did! But we only bought like a few dresses, Fjord. That's not nearly enough for however long we plan to stay in Rosohna!" She laughs and shows off another dress for Fjord. "Oh! Look at this one! Isn't this super cute!?"

"Sure." Fjord says, uninterested, and he begins to make his way through the aisles, taking in the different clothing Rosohna and the Krynn have to offer. Most of it is dark fabrics, purples, blacks and grays, rarely bright colors, aside from silver, and a lot of the clothing is covered in some sort of shiny substance that makes the outfits stand out. Fjord can see why Nott and Jester find the clothing exciting, even if he is unimpressed. That is, until he comes across a familiar piece of fabric, lavender and soft.

His fingers itch with curiosity. Perhaps he should buy one since he's been fixated on Caleb's robe, after all. Fjord takes it, slinging it over his arm and Jester appears, startling and sudden, at the crook of his elbow.

"Jesus." Fjord curses and Jester grins.

"Are you interested in robes, Fjord?" She laughs, taking the clothing from him and raising it up to her frame. She bats her eyelashes and tries to look coquettish, but she's giggling too hard for it to be convincing.  

Fjord sheepishly grabs the robe back. "I dunno. I was thinkin' about trying it on."

"Yes you should! You haven't bought like anything since we've been here! Go, go!" She pushes him in the direction of the changing rooms and goes back to shopping. Fjord awkwardly shuffles between a thin wall of fabric, situating himself in front of mirror and begins to unbuckle his breastplate.

It takes several moments, and he's too uncomfortable to take off his undershirt or pants, so he leans his armor against the wall and wraps himself in the robe, looking at himself in the mirror. His shoulders are a little too broad, and the robe is too small to really fit him properly, he'd probably need to go up a size, but even looking at himself in the mirror, he doesn't have that same sort of fascination he'd had when he'd looked at Caleb wearing his. He's just himself, looking a little stupid, wearing a purple robe.

At least his tusks are starting to come in a little more, just now piercing his bottom lip, and Fjord tightens his mouth, fingers twitching, wanting to scrape at the tooth, but he forces his hand down and quickly disrobes.

He's got most of his armor back on when Jester, unceremoniously, rips open the curtain. Fjord yelps and spins around and Jester grins and then pouts.

"Damn. I was hoping to see you all _naked_."

"What the fuck, Jester." Fjord glares at her and she giggles again.

"I'm kidding, Fjord! I wanted to see you in the robe! So? Do you like it?"

Fjord shrugs. "It's too small for me... and it's not really my thing after all."

Jester "awws" sadly and Fjord leaves the changing room to put the robe back where he'd found it. They leave a few moments later, Jester's hands filled with more dresses than she can possibly wear, Fjord even having to carry some, and Fjord yawns as they step out of the shop.

Jester glances at him. "You've looked really tired lately, Fjord." She comments, suddenly serious.

Fjord yawns again, covering his mouth with his free hand. "Been sleepin' kinda rough, that's all. Not used to the bed." It's not a lie exactly.

"Is it..." Jester pauses, her voice comes out cautiously. "Are you not used to sleeping alone? I mean, you've never had your own room before, right?"

Fjord nods and Jester continues, voice rising and words running into each other. "If you want, I can make that little hole in the wall for you, or maybe even a door and Beau and I could pop in and out and you won't feel like you're alone, you know?"

" _No_ -no holes, Jester. I'm fine." Fjord reassures, exasperated, wondering why Jester is so fixated on putting holes in his wall. "I'll get used to it, eventually."

Jester stills looks upset so Fjord huffs and reminds, "'sides, if I'm real lonely I can bunk with Duece in his garden."

Jester perks up. "It is really pretty up there--Oh! Have you seen the hot tub yet? Caduceus and I are almost done with it and it's going to be _amazing_."

 

It's early when Fjord calls on Caleb that night; he can see Yasha still wandering about, exercising and stretching out her muscles, but Fjord is feeling incredibly anxious tonight. It was something about being in the water--when Jester had insisted Fjord step in and try it out--that is making him unsteady. For a moment, submerged, he'd felt the prickles of danger on the back of his neck and the sensation of the water on his skin had felt suddenly menacing--as if he'd be pulled under. He'd escaped as quickly as he could, but he could still feel the phantom sensation of it on his body.

He knocked a little more earnestly this time, on Caleb's door, after not getting an immediate response. This time, he hears movement beyond the door and a figure open it. Fjord reared back, surprised, and then embarrassed because he'd forgotten that the Shadowhand had come today, and that he and Caleb were studying Dunamancy that evening.

Essek Thelyss raises an eyebrow at Fjord, and Fjord falters for a moment before he puts on his mask. "Shadowhand." He says, nodding his head and Essek returns the gesture.

"Do you need Caleb for something?" He asks and Fjord hesitates again.

"No, I--" Caleb appears then, over Essek's shoulder. His eyes are narrowed and he's wearing his robe. His sleeves are rolled all the way down, far enough that he has to curl his hand around the cuff or else his hands will disappear in the fabric.

Fjord's heart thumps, and a little confused, all he gets out is, "Frumpkin?"

Caleb's eyes soften. His fingers snap and Frumpkin appears at Fjord's feet. Essek leans down a little, eyes sharp with interest as Frumpkin purrs and wraps himself around Fjord's legs. Fjord automatically sneezes, between the crook of his elbow, before he stoops and picks up Frumpkin. When he looks up, Essek is giving him a curious look which he then turns on Caleb.

His mouth twitches, "Your Familiar induces allergies?"

Caleb nods and says with a straight face. "For all intents and purposes, my cat is a cat, when he is a cat."

"Fascinating." Essek says, and lightly touches Caleb's shoulder.   

There is something jarring about seeing Essek's purple hand on lavender, on Caleb, and Fjord jolts, struck suddenly by a realization. His fingers tighten around Frumpkin involuntarily, and the Familiar hisses at him, tail thrashing. Fjord blurts out an apology, catching Caleb and Essek's attention. Caleb steps out of Essek's hand and approaches Fjord, hands already out to pet Frumpkin.

"You've frazzled him, Fjord." Caleb admonishes, fingers making soothing motions in Frumpkin's fur. Frumpkin purrs and presses back into Caleb's hands. Caleb looks up, eyebrow raised. "Perhaps I should withhold cat privileges." 

Fjord swallows, mouth suddenly dry, and hands Frumpkin back to Caleb. "Probably for the best." He says, to Caleb's confusion.

"Fjord, I was only joking--"

"It's fine." He rubs the back of his neck and makes sure to loosen his shoulders and look properly contrite. "I've been hoggin' him anyways." He inclines his head politely to Essek. "Shadowhand." He does the same to Caleb. "Caleb." And retreats.

Once he's back in his room, he closes the door quickly behind him and breathes. Then he presses a fist to his eye. Why? Why now of all times does he have to deal with his stupid emotions. Why, when he's a hairsbreadth from being a liability? What good does he have to offer to the group, to _Caleb_ , who can conjure fire and be a leader, make the hard decisions, who Fjord _trusts_ (and apparently, whom Fjord loves because there is no other explanation for the swoop of jealousy he'd felt when Essek had laid his hand on Caleb, or the way he's apparently been checking Caleb out, in his robe or otherwise, because Fjord knows, now that he's aware of it, that he's been looking at Caleb a good deal more than just friendly). 

He breathes, laments his situation, and then lays down on the bed and stares at the ceiling.

Time passes, but to Fjord it feels like seconds. His skin is still crawling, and his anxiety has spiked the longer he stares at his ceiling. He really wishes he hadn't given Frumpkin back to Caleb.

There's a knock on his door, which jolts Fjord up from his slouched position on the bedspread. He clears his throat, "Yeah?" He calls.

"It is me." Caleb replies through the door. There is a meow. "And Frumpkin." He adds.

"Hang on a sec." Fjord says, both relieved and nervous, about what Caleb could want. Perhaps he is only here to give him Frumpkin for the night. He hadn't been very convincing when he'd all but shoved Frumpkin back into Caleb's arms.

Fjord opens the door and Caleb is standing there, still in his robe, eyes narrowed, with Frumpkin a soft weight around his shoulders. Fjord's heart thumps, traitorous, and his cheeks heat. Now that he's aware of his feelings, the fact that his eyes immediately fall to Caleb's neck, tracing the line of his collarbone and the tiny freckles dotting the underside of his chin, is an embarrassing revelation.

Frumpkin _mrrpps_ , and crawls off of Caleb's shoulders, making his way to Fjord and sitting obediently at his feet, looking up at him expectantly. Fjord stoops and picks him up. "Thanks." He says, quietly, not looking at Caleb.

Fjord can feel Caleb staring at him. "Do you want to tell me what that was about?" He asks, pointedly.

Fjord sighs. "Nothin'. Just--realized maybe I was taking him from you too much, s'all."  

"Fjord, look at me." Fjord does, surprised by Caleb's tone. Caleb's brow is furrowed, mouth pinched in a tight white line. "Let's get to the point here." He says, hard and a little harsh--reminiscent of his interrogation of Fjord, and Fjord can feel his hackles rising, almost afraid that Caleb will mention their previous conversation, and insist that Fjord lay everything out for him after all. "This is not just about 'bad dreams,' isn't it?"

Fjord hesitates, feeling cornered again. No, this is not a conversation he wants to have--certainly not with Caleb, and certainly not now. "I'm sorry? I don't know what you want me to say."

Caleb rolls his eyes. "This was your reaction the last time, and I'm sorry, my friend, but it is bullshit." Caleb nods to Frumpkin. "I have lent you my cat for your sleepless nights, but I know that you have been wandering the halls at night frequently before that." Fjord opens his mouth, to argue, to something, but Caleb continues, "and this has been a frequent occurrence since we have gotten to this place, made our stay here. And there is also the fact of your reaction to your dreams that last night in the inn."

Fjord freezes. "I thought you were asleep."

" _Ja_ , I faked."

Fjord tries to reign in his desperation, and his anger. Could Caleb have followed him into that alley? Seen that moment of vulnerability? He grinds his teeth. Caleb's eyes are hard, magic flickering in his iris, and Fjord is attracted to him and furious with him in equal measure.

Caleb keeps going, relentless, "You spoke to me and said that nothing from your past would be a danger to the group. But you were vague about whether it would be a danger to _you_." He steps forward, further into the room. Fjord stands his ground, still furious but his heart is beating faster despite himself. The folds of the robe open as Caleb moves, flutters to the side, and Fjord can see the white shirt underneath, and the way it dips low over his chest.

Caleb tilts his chin up, eyes searching, "Are these restless nights--your bad dreams--is that what you are hiding from? Your Uk'otoa has threatened you again?"  

Fjord doesn't answer. Caleb's frown deepens. "You are hiding something, I can tell that much, but you must know--we are a family, any trouble that you are in we can help you out of it. This deal with your god. Just say the word."  

Fjord was not expecting that. He was expecting more accusations, more pointed questions, more of what had happened that night in his bedroom, their positions reversed, Caleb on the bed, Fjord in the doorway, standing opposite each other, truths and lies and stagnant pleas of patience, hands clasping together to seal another deal, another favor. But this--this is Caleb offering. On behalf of the group, but it is just as much them as it is Caleb too.

Fjord doesn't want that--his problems becoming problems for the group. They've just finally settled down, gotten Yeza, been there for Nott, and now they're gonna see what they can do about Beau and Caleb's homeland. This shouldn't be about him anymore. The Nein have already done too much for him on the high seas.

Caleb, frustrated, when Fjord does not respond, motions to the room, using his hands to indicate the rooms beyond. "We have already gone to the seas for you, you do not really think we would say no if you asked for our help?"

"You've already done too much for me." Fjord finally speaks. Frumpkin _mrrows_ and digs closer into Fjord's chest. "My problems are mine to deal with."

Caleb clicks his tongue. "You are being pig-headed."

Fjord scoffs. "You're one to talk."

Caleb looks almost offended. "This is not about me."

"Isn't it?" Fjord counters, finally finding some ground to stand on. He pushes. "I thought the reason we are still here in Xhorhas is because you want to try to stop a war. This is your and Beau's quest. We're here for you two, now."

Caleb hesitates. "That is--I would like us to stop the war, _ja_ , but that is a big undertaking. Your god is a threat--"

"And the war isn't one?"

Caleb's mouth twists, his eyes flashing with an unnameable emotion. "Yours is an immediate threat, Fjord. Your god could kill you." Caleb bites out. "And forgive me, but that is something that I do not wish to see happen."   

Caleb turns on his heel and strides out of the open door and down the hallway, disappearing from Fjord's view. Fjord stares at the door, taken aback, confused and uncertain, his heart beating fast from the argument and the proximity their bodies had been in.

Beau sticks her head into the door, hair down and mussed, in a sleeve-less shirt, scowling. "If you guys are gonna have a lover's spat, have it in the fucking morning, would you? Some people are trying to sleep!"

Fjord jerks into action then, flushing beat red and something elated filling his heart as he sprints out the door, (sweeping past Beau, who rolls her eyes and slams her and Jester's door closed), holding Frumpkin in a secure grip.

He reaches the first floor just as Caleb is passing the couch and he lunges, blocking Caleb's path to his room with his body.

Caleb steps back, surprised, and then frowns at him. "What?"

"What you said--" Fjord huffs, catching his breath. Frumpkin wriggles in Fjord's arms, uncomfortable from the fast run. "About me dying. What did you mean by that?"

Caleb scowls at him. "I do not think I stuttered, Fjord." 

Fjord chuckles and then he kneels and lets Frumpkin down. Frumpkin _mrrphs_ in confusion, but obediently hops off and Fjord straightens to Caleb's wrinkled brow and frown. "No, you didn't." He steps forward, so that he and Caleb are as close as they had been in his room, and Caleb is forced to tilt his chin up to look at Fjord. Fjord's grin widens, and his heart is going double-time. He knows he can be a little impulsive sometimes... but he trusts Caleb, and he trusts his eyes and his ears, and if the faint red hue of Caleb's cheeks is anything to go by... then he can trust his instincts too. "I have a confession to make." 

Caleb's eyes flash. " _Ja_?" 

Fjord raises his hand, slowly, gauging Caleb's reaction, before he places his hand on Caleb's shoulder, right where Essek had. Caleb's eyes glance at his hand, then back at Fjord, waiting. "You noticed the way I reacted earlier, with you and the Shadowhand, and I'll tell you now, if it pleases you." 

Caleb nods, still waiting, but his mouth has parted just slightly, the color rising higher on his face, as Fjord's hand moves intimately closer to the collar of his robe, and then lightly touches his neck and collarbone. Fjord sincerely hopes he has not read him wrong; Caleb is so very hard to read sometimes. "I thought maybe I just liked your robe," he laughs at himself, "went shoppin' with Jester and tried one on. Hated it, really, the way it looked on me, but I couldn't get it out of my head--how you looked in it, and when I saw him touch you--" Fjord's fingers dip slightly underneath the folds of Caleb's collar, tracing the bone, "I realized that I..." Fjord gulps, and leans forward. 

It worked with Avantika... maybe--?

Caleb surges upwards, their mouths connecting, almost hard and forceful, pure determination and fizzling magic, and nothing like Avantika at all. Fjord erases her from his mind, closing his eyes and steadying Caleb with his other hand on Caleb's waist. Caleb's hands tighten in Fjord's shirt, pulling him closer, down, and Fjord obliges, always following. 

"I noticed." Caleb pants, accent very thick, throat working as he pants. He kisses Fjord again, harder, pulls back, " _I noticed_." He repeats. 

"Noticed--" Caleb cuts him off, another kiss. Fjord's hands slide deeper into the folds of Caleb's robe, over his chest, palming him over his undershirt. He nearly has to wrench himself free to speak again. "--me lookin'?"

" _Ja_ ," Caleb nods, pulls harder and Fjord loses his balance, surprised, as Caleb pulls him down into the couch. Fjord isn't sure when they'd gotten close enough to it, but is glad of it. He'd rather not have bruises on his knees from a fall--he'd rather have them for other reasons.  "Every time--" Caleb kisses him, teeth nipping his lip and Fjord gives as good as he's got back, pressing Caleb's back into the couch and sliding both hands under the robe, and further, under his shirt to touch his chest. Caleb makes a noise, something high and sharp, then curses in Zemnian, and continues, "you looked at me and I could tell," he makes the noise again when Fjord pinches his nipple with two fingers. " _Verdammt_ , Fjord, I cannot speak if you--"

"Who says I want you to." Fjord counters and does it again, just to see the way Caleb's mouth tightens as he tries to hold in his moan. 

Caleb pulls him back to his mouth, hands on his face, and Fjord lets him, kissing like two fevered souls, on a couch in their sitting room. Anyone could walk in, but it is an afterthought to this--Caleb beneath him, kissing him, hot, magic flaring in his eyes. 

Fjord ducks his head, pushes open Caleb's robe so he can get an eyeful. He is still wearing his undershirt, white and thin, but Fjord can see the freckles that dot his shoulders and the very top of his chest. He pulls the undershirt up too, exposing Caleb's stomach and kisses him there, feeling Caleb's fingers slide into his hair, tug and tighten like a vice. 

"Fjord." Caleb says his name, a warning. "Sex with you is something I am very much interested in." He pauses, chuckles a little darkly, "but not on the settee in the open where our friends can find us. I am not so much interested in exhibitionism." Fjord releases him, lets his shirt go to look up, to see the high flush of Caleb's throat and his eyes, so blue, pupils dark and wide.

Fjord scoots up so they are at eye level, hovering over Caleb, and he looks down at him, giddy. "Do you think I might be able to convince you, though?" He jokes, not really intending to try. He's okay just like this, kissing, mouths burning, red and swollen, intense, in the cushions.

Caleb closes his eyes and tilts his head back, thumping it against the couch cushion. "You are..." Caleb pants, opening his eyes, "too handsome for your own good." He complains and Fjord huffs a laugh at him, amused.

Caleb reaches up and touches Fjord's mouth, fingers light on his bottom lip and Fjord realizes that he's smiling, with an open mouth, teeth gleaming and visible, tusks on display. He almost shuts his mouth, but Caleb's fingers are tracing the edge of one of his tusks and Fjord is afraid of hurting him, but Caleb seems fascinated with the curl of his tooth and Fjord, for once, doesn't feel intense shame over its existence. 

Fjord does move gently, careful of Caleb's fingers, and lightly kisses the edge of the pad of his thumb, tongue flicking and Caleb hums, approval and arousal in the soft exhale of breath he lets escape. 

Fjord is very interested in sex with Caleb too.

But it is late, and they are growing tired, and despite all the sleep he's been getting thanks to Frumpkin, Fjord still has a lot of sleepless nights to catch up on, and he hides a yawn in the folds of Caleb's robe. Caleb chuckles, his fingers carding through the soft hairs on the back of Fjord's neck, and murmurs. "I do not purr, but you can use me as a sleeping partner tonight."

Fjord huffs. "I dunno. You were doin' some interesting purring earlier." 

Fjord turns his head into the crook of Caleb's neck and he can feel how hot Caleb's skin is. Caleb flicks Fjord's ear, a reprimand. "That was not funny."

"I thought it was." 

"Fjord," Caleb says, suddenly serious, "you would tell me... us... if there was something coming for you, from your past or from your god, would you?" 

Fjord closes his eyes. No, his past is fine. Sabien won't--he doesn't think Sabien has a vendetta against him. He's not sure what Sabien was thinking when he blew up the ship, and Vandren is off "making amends" as Caduceus said. And the orphanage... well, that's a whole different life of his behind him. So no, his past is fine. What Fjord really has to fear is Uk'otoa, and Uk'otoa's power to take away his gifts. But though Uk'otoa is an everlasting weight behind him, always watching, oppressive, he hasn't taken them away again and Fjord is relieved as much as he is wary. 

"Yeah," he says, eventually, into the couch cushions and Caleb's neck. "I would tell you." 

He drifts off like that, arms wrapped around Caleb's middle, Caleb warm in his embrace, with Caleb's fingers in his hair, and the rumble of Frumpkin's purring on the headrest of the couch.  

  

Jester squeals with delight when she finds them, curled up like commas, on the couch the next morning. Beau leans down and whispers in Nott's ear, "pay up" to which Nott hisses and hands her a gold piece. While Jester is giggling and saying how she'd "known something was going on between them, I mean Fjord was interested in _robes_ " to Yasha, who nods in agreement at her, Caduceus comes down with two cups of tea and hands them to a grateful and embarrassed two-of-them, humming and nodding. Fjord takes his quickly while averting his gaze, and Caleb gives Caduceus a quiet "thank you" before he uses the cup to hide behind.

Nott plops down onto the couch on Caleb's unoccupied side, squishing Caleb into Fjord. She moans. " _Why_? Why _him_?" She adds, low to herself. "Why couldn't it have been the handsome drow wizard..."

Caleb shrugs, sipping on his tea, his hair a mess and his robe askew, though he's tried, unsuccessfully, to wrap it around himself, Fjord can still see his pale collarbone and the slip of a freckled knee. His fingers itch to slip in between the folds of it, to cup at Caleb's skin, but he keeps his hands to himself.  

Nott growls and pulls on her ears before she huffs and leans over Caleb to glare at Fjord and point her finger at him aggressively. "Hurt him and I kill you." She threatens and Fjord rolls his eyes but knows she is mostly serious so he nods and sips some more of Caduceus' tea.

To the gaggle of their friends laughing and enjoying their embarrassment (mostly Jester and Beau, and Nott when she's finished glaring at Fjord, and Yasha too, if he's interpreting the twinkle in her eyes correctly), Caleb's fingers curl around Fjord's hand, positioned behind his back. Their palms press together, cut palm to cut palm, tingling with a new promise.      

 

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was supposed to be about Fjord having trouble sleeping because of losing his powers and instead it turned into Fjord pining over Caleb in a robe
> 
> [I do not regret my decisions]


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